missing..

when it's time for me to slp, i dont feel like slping..when i realised it's time for me to go to bed, i feel like i've just lost another day..another day of my life has gone by without me doing anything productive at all..it's not about studies..it's not about money..i dunno what i'm feeling..this feeling of being left out somewhere..there's a hole in my heart..a hole which can never be sealed, reason being i dont know what's missing..

when it's time for me to wake up, i dont feellike waking up..when i realised it's time for me to wake up, i feel like i've just lost another night..another night of my life has gone by, without me resting enough to call it a night's sleep..it's not about how long i've slept..it's not about what bed i slept on..i dunno what i was dreaming of..this dream that gives me the feeling that i dont wanna wake up..i cant remember anything when i wake up..no matter how hard i try to remember, it just doesnt come back..

something is definitely missing in my life..but i can never figure out what it is..at this rate, i'll die before i find out..

meaningless

my life is seriously meaningless..i don't do anything productive or meaningful at all..every day is almost the same..nothing different..always doing the same things over and over again to the extent that i think im mad..

wow, rohan, msn, rot..seriously..those are my activities for everyday..ok i spend quite alot of time on games..wow and rohan..i like playing games..i dont mind spending time on them..but playing alone is really no life..sometimes i just get so tired of it i stop and then find myself not knowing what to do..staring into space, cant think of anything at all..i know what u all will be thinking..go study la..right? that's another issue so dont talk to me about that unless i talk to u about it..

go out and see the world? what is there to see u tell me? things being sold in shops? where are the good foods located? i feel i dont need all these..give me a life that im able to live in peace, im contented..importance of money? don't u dare tell me no money no happiness..i'll stuff that right back in your face..u don't like this idea of mine just buzz off..im more than happy to not make your acquaintence..

i think alot..sometimes too much..about life usually..dont be surprised to see most of my posts having something to do with life..i dont know why i think so much about it myself..i might be feeling that im missing out on something really important..all these while..but i cant figure out what it is..i really dunno what im feeling, why im feeling this way..

note : my entries are not directed at any one particular person unless i specifically mention..i do not hold responsiblilities for offended readers..if u feel offended, get out of the blogging world..

balance in life?

life is a challenge..a challenge we can never run away from, yet a challenge that we may never find ourselves willing to face..things u HAVE TO do vs things u WANT TO do..things u HAVE TO change vs things u WANT TO change..why are they rarely the same thing?

shit happens..we wanna change it so badly, but we cant..we have to force ourselves to accept it and get over it, or rot in hell for all eternity..at least until u've accepted it anyw..why is it always this way..is it because we tend to take things for granted? and only regret after we've lost what we've taken for granted all along? this seems to be the only reasonable explanation..no matter how well we know this, we still tend to make this mistake..but what does it mean to not take things for granted? how do we go about treasuring whatever we have? sometimes it's just unspoken, intangible..yet we regret..humans are contradicting, complicated..

things that u want to do are often not the things that are right..usually things that make us feel better are not right..is it wrong to wanna feel good and be happy? without happiness and comfort, life isn't worth living..yet, it's the sadness and discomfort in life that brings people together..

whatever..i'm lost..these are just raw words straight from my Thoughts Workshop (brain, if u dunno what i meant)..dont bother if u cant understand..dont crack your head..

cant think of any THING

july's over..august's here..start of a new month..but continuation of a pathetic life..flow of time is constant..the world is always on the move..time and tide waits for no man..oh well, deal with it..

this week, was a week of weird happenings..things i dont understand, things i dont foresee, things i dont know how to handle..im seriously alot more talk than action, which is a very bad thing..it's a good thing im so far away..so far that only words can affect..i dont know what to do when im faced with situations i dont understand or foresee..

random entry..if u understand, good on ya..